


Eat my heart out

by sunflowerpeachie



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Anorexia, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Dead Father - Freeform, Eating Disorders, F/M, Forced, Good Person Billy Hargrove, Sad, Season/Series 02, Sick Character, Vomiting, billy helps OC, billy is a decent human being, binge eating, but happy ending, mother abandoned her, this is horrible, why did i do this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:01:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26211604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowerpeachie/pseuds/sunflowerpeachie
Summary: Billy's friend's bet him to have sex with the shy girl, but what happens when he finds out her secret ?
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ! TRIGGER WARNING !  
> This fic includes anorexia and binge eating, so if these subjects trigger you, do not read. And please DO NOT adopt Jaime's eating habits! Eat in a healthy manner and DO NOT force yourself to be sick! If you have troubles with this, go see a doctor please xx

“ _ Do it ! Do it ! Do it ! Do it ! _ ” Jaime heard a group of boys chanting from across the hallway. She glanced around and saw the popular group of school surrounding one Billy Hargrove. He was laughing, eyes catching Jaime’s before she turned back to her locker, pulling her books out for the day. 

Jaime was in her senior year of high school and she couldn’t wait to graduate and get the hell out of Hawkins. Too much had happened there - her father’s death, her mother practically abandoning her, Barb’s disappearance, not to mention all the stuff that had happened to that Will kid. Barbara and Nancy had been her only friends, but when Barb’ disappeared, she was left with no one. Nancy seemed to have forgotten her when she started dating Jonathan and she only saw her mother once every week or two. It didn’t help that she was extremely socially awkward. 

She had been homeschooled until her father died three years ago, so she didn’t really know anybody before then. Then the car accident happened and her mom sent her to school before disappearing for days on end. Jaime barely saw her anymore, but she had gotten used to it. She learned how to cook for herself and pay the bills (because her mother somehow came up with the money they needed to keep going) and didn’t know, nor care what her mother did when she wasn’t around. 

“Those jugs look heavy… Want me to hold them for you ?” 

Jaime whipped around, startled. Feeling a blush crawling up her cheeks, her eyes shot to the ground. 

Billy had an arm up against the locker next to hers, trapping Jaime with her back against the wall of lockers. He was way too close for her liking and she fidgeted under his gaze, rearranging the books in her arms. Billy grinned at her, looking smug. 

"Hey there, sweetheart. Wanna get outta here?" He winked at Jaime and took a pack of cigarettes out of his denim jacket, sliding one behind his ear. 

"Not- not really," she stuttered, eyes darting up to Billy and back down again. 

"Sure ? Cause if I had to alphabetize the alphabet, I'd put  _ u  _ and  _ i  _ together," he winked again, leaning in even closer to her. 

Jaime had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing at the cheesy pickup line. 

"I'm going to be late for class," she muttered before hurrying off down the hallway. 

"See ya later, Sugar !" Billy called out after her. When she glanced back at him, he blew her a kiss. As soon as she was out of earshot, Billy turned back to his friends, pulling the cigarette from behind his ear, and grinned devilishly. They were booing him. "I'll get her boys, I'll get her. I just gotta get her to trust me."

☼♥☼

Later that night, Jaime found herself puking into the toilet of her crappy caravan bathroom floor. The truth is, she had a secret. A secret not even Barbara or Nancy had known when they were friends. 

After her dad's death, she started eating a lot. It was her way of coping. She drowned herself in junk food and gained over 20 pounds in a few months. She soon became the subject of intense harassment from her peers though. So, after a year of being bullied and pushed around for her weight, she decided to do something about it. But instead of just cutting out the junk food, she cut out every food. 

She only ate a couple of fruits and veg a day, eating just enough to keep her going, and although the first couple of weeks she felt like her insides were twisting and clenching inside her, she soon became numb to the hunger and even enjoyed feeling the rumbling of her stomach. It made her feel like she was really doing something, changing for the better. To hide her figure, she wore large, baggy clothes which became somewhat of a safety blanket for her. If she ever felt too revealed, she felt selfconscious and disgusting.

Every few months though, she would have a relapse. She would eat as much as she could - everything she could find, really. 

That day was her relapse day. 

After school, she went straight to the store and hurried through the isles, grabbing bags of chips and sweets and cakes. Something about her and Billy’s interaction had unsettled her and all day long, she had been dreaming about food, feeling the need to eat until she burst. She set her food on the counter and smiled at Joyce Byers, Will’s mother. She tried to hide the guilt and fear she felt.

When Will was found floating in the lake, she followed her gut and continued to search for her son. Everyone had thought she was crazy. Apparently not. She admired Joyce’s resilience. 

“Having some friends over ?” she asked nicely, looking down at the pile of food. 

“Uh, yeah,” Jaime answered awkwardly, clasping her hands together. From a couple of isles back, she heard some kids making pig noises at her. Instinctively, she knew it was Billy’s gang.

She felt tears form on her lash line but she didn’t let them drop. She wouldn’t let them see how hurt she was. She couldn’t - they would only call her a crybaby. Jaime took a deep breath and searched around her bag for her purse to occupy herself. 

As she looked between her books, she felt someone come up behind her. They weren’t touching her, but they were close enough for her to feel their warmth. The person reached over her and dropped some cash infront of Joyce. 

“I’ve got this,” she heard a familiar voice mutter. “Throw these in with it,” he said, throwing a pack of cigarettes on the counter. He then stepped beside Jaime, leaning an elbow on the counter.

“Billy ?” Jaime asked, frowning. “I can’t… I can’t let you-”

“Sure you can, sweet cheeks,” Billy grinned. “Consider it a birthday present.”

“My birthday was three months ago…” she mumbled.

“A late birthday present then.”

“Why ?” was all Jaime was able to ask, completely and utterly shocked. 

“I like you, Jaime. You’re cute.” Weirdly, Billy looked sincere, and it freaked her out. “Mind if I join you ?” he asked, nodding at the food.

“Sorry. I, uh, have friends coming over,” she stuttered, glancing at Joyce who had just set the change on the counter, before thanking Billy and rushing out of the store. 

When Jaime got home, she put her pyjamas on and turned the radio on in her room. She spread all the food she had gotten on her bed and settled herself snug under the covers. Carefully, as if it would bite her, she picked a bag of chips up and slowly opened the packet. The scent of salt wafted up to her nose and she just knew she was going to regret this. She ate a small chip at first, thinking - hoping - that she would be able to stop herself after a couple and then go to sleep. 

That’s not how it worked out. 

As soon as that first chip went past her lips, her determination to not binge disappeared and she wolfed down the whole packet in a few minutes. She knew she couldn’t stop herself. She knew she was too far gone. She knew she wouldn’t stop eating until there was nothing left. 

Twenty minutes later, it was all gone. Empty wrappers and packets lay at the foot of the bed and she cried at the sight of them. 

She was so weak. So fat. So ugly. No wonder nobody liked her. 

Jaime ripped the covers off of her and she rushed to the bathroom, footsteps heavy. She felt like she had gained ten pounds. Throwing herself onto her knees, she shoved her fingers down her throat, gagging. 

☼♥☼

The next day, it took all of Jaime’s willpower to get up and go to school. She felt rough. She hadn’t felt this bad since the first week of her cutting down on food. 

She stumbled into school, hair unbrushed, jumper on inside out, bags under her eyes. If she saw someone looking like her, she would have thought they had come to school drunk.

All day, she felt like she was going to break down. The guilt of the night before overwhelmed her and she wanted to be sick again, to cleanse herself of the food she had eaten. She didn’t eat anything that day, or the next day, or the next. 

With every hour that passed on the third day of her not eating, she felt worse and worse. Her stomach clenched in hunger, but she couldn’t give in to her urges. In the middle of the day, dizziness added itself to her hunger, and she felt cold as a corpse. She wasn’t a pretty image. 

Thinking she felt this way because she had overeaten, she decided that at lunch, while everyone was eating, she would sneak into the bathroom and make herself sick again. That would surely make her feel better. 

By the time class ended, she was shivering so hard she could barely write. The color had drained from her face and she had the terrible feeling she would collapse. She rushed out of the classroom, her teacher sending her a strange look, and headed straight to the closest toilet. 

It seemed like this really wasn’t her lucky day, though. As she rushed down the hallway, she wasn’t looking where she was going. Guess who she rammed into. Billy freaking Hargrove. Of course. 

“Woah, there,” he chuckled, smirking (as usual). Jaime ignored him and stumbled around him, feeling weirdly lightheaded. “Hey !” he exclaimed and grabbed her by the arm, although it was rather gentle. She missed Billy’s frown as he looked down at Jaime’s unusually thin wrist. “You okay ?” he asked gruffly. 

“Yes. I just need to… to…” Jaime closed her eyes, a wave of dizziness clouding her head. She felt herself sway but Billy’s grip kept her up right. 

Billy moved his hands up to her shoulders, keeping her steady and when she opened her eyes, she saw his mouth move but only muffled noises were coming out. She frowned, trying to concentrate on him, but it didn’t work. Jaime felt Billy guiding her somewhere but when they started moving, she stumbled and fell. 

“ _ Shit _ ,” she heard Billy hiss from a faraway place. She felt herself being lifted up, and then, nothing. 

☼♥☼

Blinding white light was the first thing she saw when her eyes cracked open. Jaime moaned, feeling weak. She wasn’t even able to move an arm to rub at her sore eyes. As she gradually got used to having her eyes open, she noticed she wasn’t actually in any pain - she felt rather numb. 

When her eyes were fully open and functioning, she realised there wasn’t a white light, it was just a white room. A hospital room. 

She turned her head to the side, noticing the I.V. that was attached to her arm. A heart monitor was making a steady beeping sound and she noticed people - nurses and doctors - bustling past her room, every one of them looking like they were in a hurry. 

Jaime tried to speak but her throat was raw and dry. She coughed weakly and continued to take in her surroundings. She noticed a small gadget with a button which she happened to know that if she pressed the it, it would call for a nurse, which is exactly what she did. 

Not even a minute later, a kind looking nurse glided into the room. She smiled sweetly at Jaime and quickly examined her vitals. 

“What happened ?” Jaime wheezed out when the nurse had finished. 

The nurse held a glass of water with a straw in front of Jaime’s mouth, urging her to drink. “Take small sips,” she instructed before explaining what had happened. “You passed out, Sweety. You’re severely malnourished… Although I’m sure you know that. I’m sorry, but I have to ask this. Did you do this to yourself ?” the nurse asked gently, setting the glass on the table at the side of the hospital bed. 

Jaime ducked her head, shame rising in her chest like an ugly red monster. She felt tears rise and glisten in her eyes, her throat closing up. 

“I’ll go get the doctor.” The nurse patted Jaime’s arm and left the room, leaving Jaime to cry in peace for five minutes. 

☼♥☼

Jaime stayed in the hospital for months. She wasn’t deemed safe to go home, alone. The doctors feared she would be a danger to herself, which she understood, in some way. 

Her mother had been called in, and although she seemed to feel sad - guilty even - for Jaime, she was still the same person. She stayed with her daughter for a couple of days before disappearing again. Jaime didn’t blame her. If she was her mother, she wouldn’t want a daughter like her either. She spent months seeing different therapists and doctors, some nutritionists as well. It all felt like some weird dream, honestly. 

A couple of weeks after Jaime’s first day in hospital though, she had a visitor. It was none other than Billy Hargrove. 

“Hey there, Sweetheart,” he grinned and Jaime propped herself up on her multiple pillows, self consciously trying to comb through her hair with her fingers. 

“What are you doing here ?” she asked, dumbfounded. 

“I know you have a problem with food,” he started, confidently stepping into the room. “But I thought you should have some snacks. I hear hospital food ain’t that great.” He winked at Jaime before setting a plastic bag on the foot of her bed and unpacking it’s contents. 

Jaime held her breath, panic threatening to overtake her. How could he bring her food, of all things ? Was this some cruel joke his idiotic friends had put him up to ? She knew about the bet - the one where Billy was supposed to sleep with her. Was her being in the hospital some kind of funny joke to them ? 

She felt tears form in her eyes and before she could even think to hold them back, they were already spilling down her cheeks. Jaime closed her eyes as tight as she could and sucked in a shaky breath. 

“You’re so horrible,” she whispered, voice cracking. “You and your friends. You’re so horrible.” 

She heard Billy’s bones crack and when she opened her eyes again, his knuckles were as white as fresh snow from the way his hands were in fists. His narrowed eyes looked at her with fury and Jaime flinched.

“Look you little bi- I’m just trying to be nice for once in my fucking life. If that’s how I get treated when trying to do something good, then I won’t fucking bother again.” Billy turned to storm out of the room but was stopped when Jaime breathed out a small ‘Oh !’ 

Jaime was looking at the contents on her bed. Where she thought there would be fatty and unhealthy foods, there were boxes of strawberries and grapes, what looked like a homemade salad - a mix of lettuce and assorted vegetables, and a small bag of nuts. 

“Thank you,” she said softly, too stunned to be awkward or embarrassed. 

“Yeah, you’re welcome,” Billy grunted, flopping down on a chair he set next to the bed. 

“I thought it was going to be… You know… Bad food. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not that fucking cruel,” he muttered back but Jaime only lifted a brow. 

“Why are you being so nice ?” she asked. “I mean, I know about you’re stupid bet with your friends but why are you trying  _ this hard  _ to get into my pants ?”

“The bet ended weeks ago,” Billy replied and it was the first time Jaime had ever seen the town’s bad boy look so uncomfortable. 

“Why ?” she asked, obviously shocked. 

“Cause I freaking said so ! Okay ?” he snapped.

“Okay, okay !” Jaime answered, hands up in surrender. “I’m just surprised, that’s all.”

After a few seconds of silence, Billy groaned angrily. “My stupid step-sister got in my head,” he complained, tapping a finger against his temple. “Little shit got me feeling bad about how I’ve been acting ! Fucking hate her,” he mumbled the last part.

“I think it’s good. You can’t be mean your whole life,” Jaime shrugged. 

“I hate this ! I freaking feel guilty ! I don’t  _ feel guilty  _ !”

“It’s only human.”

“Fuck you,” he moaned, although Jaime could tell it wasn’t illintended when Billy slumped back in his chair, rubbing his forehead. 

It was only then that Jaime realised she wasn’t a nervous wreck. She actually had no trouble speaking to Billy, supposedly the meanest person in school, although he didn’t seem too mean now. 

“I prefer this Billy,” she stated.

“Oh yeah ?” Billy grinned, leaning forward, elbows on his knees. “Does that mean you’ll sleep with me ?” 

“Fuck off,” Jaime laughed and pulled a pillow from behind her back, whacking Billy with it. “You’re not too bad, Billy.”

“You’re not too bad yourself, Jaime,” he smirked before picking up the box of strawberries and holding it up to her. “Want a strawberry ?”

Jaime hesitated before taking one and biting into it. She had never eaten something so tasty. 


	2. everything is swell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year later, everything is fine... or is it ?

_ 1 year later _

Jaime was woken up by a soft whisper in her ear. “Wake up. Jaime ! Wake up.”

She swatted at her boyfriend’s face sleepily. “Two more minutes,” she whispered back, gluing herself to his body to warm herself up. It was winter and they were in a crappy caravan - it was cold as fuck, even with a duvet cover, two blankets, a hot water bottle between them  _ and  _ body heat. 

Jaime hated winter.

“But it’s your birthday.” Billy rolled her over on the bed so she was facing him and when she blinked her eyes open, he smirked lazily. Jaime hummed in reply, eyes closing again. She stopped caring about birthdays when her father died. They didn’t seem so important anymore. 

“I have a present for you,” Billy grinned, pride in his voice. 

“You do ?” Jaime asked in surprise. She hadn’t had any gifts since her father died, unless a few bucks from her mother counted, and she hadn’t expected it to be any different this year. 

“It isn’t much,” her boyfriend shrugged guiltily, rolling over to search under the bed. When he came back up, he held a rectangular object wrapped in newspapers. “Didn’t have enough for wrapping paper,” he said gruffly.

Jaime didn’t respond. She took the package gently from his hands, as if it would disappear, and slowly unwrapped it. Billy watched her intently, trying not to blink so he could see her reaction. 

“How much sellotape did you put on this ?” Jaime laughed. 

“I’m not the best grift-wrapper. Got a problem with that ?”

“Well kinda since I can’t actually open it,” she grinned, kissing Billy’s cheek affectionately.

“Here.” Billy took the gift from her and ripped the newspaper right down the middle, making the sellotape stretch out.

“Thanks.” Jaime finished getting the rest of the paper off and squealed. “How did you get this ? It only just came out !” She flipped through her new book, The Handmaid’s Tale by her favorite author, Margaret Atwood.

“I have my connections,” Billy said proudly, head held high.

“You mean your dad ?” 

“I got Maxine to tell him she needed it for school.”

“So resourceful,” Jaime muttered happily. “Thank you. This is the best present ever.”

☼♫☼

That morning, Billy treated Jaime like a princess. He made her breakfast in bed (toasted Pop-Tarts with a glass of orange juice), complemented her more than ever and even opened the car door for her. On their way to class, Billy held her bag and books and glared at anyone who dared look at them strangely, which many people did. 

Billy didn’t technically go to Hawkins highschool anymore. He had graduated last year, whereas Jaime still had her senior year left. He worked with Joyce now, seeing as she was one of the only people who were willing to hire him in town. Even though Billy had changed a lot in the last year, his reputation still followed him everywhere. 

Luckily, Joyce was one of the few people who saw through the tough act and she treated him like a son. The couple went to dinner at the Byers household every Sunday now and they loved it. They finally felt like they had a family. 

Billy still kept up the bad boy reputation, although it was less extreme now. He didn’t beat up some poor thirteen year old everyday… Maybe every couple of weeks. Obviously, he still had anger issues. Now that he had gotten away from his father though, he was getting better - more responsible, kinder (to those he was close to), more punctual. All in all, he was pretty good. 

Jaime… Jaime was still working on herself. When she had gotten out of hospital, it had been tough. She had gone from being cared for, watched over while she ate, seeing therapists four times a week to being alone in her crappy caravan and seeing a therapist twice a week. 

Billy spent so much time at her place taking care of her that he ended up moving in with her. It was easier, and they were both happy to be together. They both had serious mental health issues and needed someone to lean on when they were feeling down. 

“See you this evening,” Billy smirked, leaning against the doorframe of the classroom she was about to enter. 

“Thanks again for my book Billy, I love it.” Billy smiled and leaned down, kissing her gently. 

“Have a good day.” With that, he strutted his way down to the exit, people looking at him with awe and fear.

☼♫☼

After a long day at school, Jaime couldn’t be more happy to see Billy waiting for her at the exit, leaning up against his car. She trotted up to him happily, too tired to actually run. He immediately opened his arms to receive her and hugged her tight, kissing the top of her head. 

“Ready for the best birthday evening ever ?”

“Have you planned something I don’t know about ?” Jaime slid into the passenger seat and raised a brow at her boyfriend. 

“Me ? Never,” he grinned back, turning the key, making the engine roar to life. They whizzed out of the parking lot and down the road, back to the caravan. 

“I can’t wait to get into my pj’s. I’ve had such a long day. I think I had all of my most boring lessons,” Jaime grunted, kicking her shoes off. 

“Sorry, Sweetheart,” Billy smirked. “We’re going out tonight.”

“So you  _ did _ plan something !”

“ _ Maybe _ .”

☼♫☼

“Beautiful,” Billy smiled, arms wide open as Jaime walked out of the bathroom, smelling fresh and looking, as Billy said, beautiful. 

She had changed into a dress and curled her hair, not sure if she looked too fancy or underdressed. 

“Sure ? I don’t look too dressed up ?” she asked nervously. 

“You look perfect,” Billy assured her, ushering the birthday girl out of the door. 

“If you say so…”

When they arrived at their destination, Jaime looked up at Billy confusedly. “Joyce’s ?”

“Yep,” Billy replied, clapping his hands together once. “She wanted to cook dinner for you on your special day.” 

Fingers intertwined, they walked up to the Byers’ home and walked in, seeing as the door was already open. 

Jaime hummed, eyes closed. “Smells like lasagna.” 

“The birthday girl !” Joyce exclaimed, coming out of the kitchen. “You’re finally here !”

“Are we late ?” Jaime asked, hugging Joyce.

“You’re just in time. Come into the kitchen. I want to hear all about your day !”

“Why is it dark-”

“SURPRISE !”

Jaime shrieked, jumping back right into Billy’s front. “ _ Oh my God please never do that again _ .”

Laughs filled the room and people came out of their hiding places. There was Will’s group of friends - Mike, El, Dustin, Max and Lucas, Jonathan and Nancy, Steve and a couple of friends she had made at school when she went back after her time at the hospital, Lucy and Adam. 

Max ran up to Jaime and hugged her tight. “Happy birthday !” she exclaimed and the rest of her friends gathered around her, forming a group hug. 

“Thank you all so much !” Jaime said, close to tears. This was the best surprise she had ever had and was actually having trouble believing all of this was happening. 

When everyone had had their moment to say happy birthday, they all sat around the table, a large dish of lasagna in the middle. 

“My favorite,” Jaime grinned.

“I know,” Joyce said affectionately and winked at her. 

They spent the evening talking and laughing and Jaime could easily say that this had been one of the best evenings of her life. After dinner, there was cake and presents. It was a simple vanilla cake with purple frosting and sprinkles the kids had made after school. 

“Don’t forget to make a wish !” El said when Jaime went to blow the candle out. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” she smiled back. She closed her eyes tight and wished so hard, her heart hurt.  _ Please let my life stay exactly as it is _ .

“What did you wish for ?” Dustin asked.

“Well now, it won’t come true if I tell.”

“Come on ! If you whisper it to me, I won’t tell ! And it’ll still come true !”

“Not sure that’s how it works,” Billy smirked. 

“Boring,” Dustin muttered, crossing his arms on the table. 

“Present time !” Will said excitedly, coming back from his room with a small pile of presents in his arms. 

“You didn’t have to ! All of you being here is the best present I could ask for !” 

“Stop being mushy and open them already !” Lucas complained.

“Alright, alright,” Jaime laughed and opened the first present, which was a bracelet from Lucy. She then got a new fountain pen from Adam, a bookmark and a ‘The Breakfast Club’ poster from Nancy and Jonathan, another book, ‘In Watermelon Sugar’, from Steve and finally, a piece of paper which said that she was allowed to join the Party from the kids.

After the presents, they ate cake (Jaime picked at Billy’s slice) and played games late into the night. To sum the evening up, Jaime would say it was perfect.

Little did she know, all that was about to change. 

☼♫☼

When the night was over, Jaime and Billy drove silently home, both exhausted from the exciting night they had had. Their hands were intertwined and she was feeling complete, a feeling of pure bliss.

Jaime had just been drifting off to sleep when a loud bang woke her up. Billy’s hand was wrenched out of hers and the car skidded into a wall. Jaime’s head banged painfully against the window and for a second, she went blind. 

“Jaime ? Jaime ! Are you okay ?” Billy asked, hysterical. 

“I’m good,” she answered woozily. “I just hit my head.” 

“Lemme see,” he ordered, hand pushing her face to the size. “You’re bleeding,” he frowned. 

“You are too,” she answered and while Billy dabbed at her forehead with a piece of ripped t-shirt, she got the chance to ask what the hell had happened. 

“Don’t know,” he grunted. “Something crashed into the windshield.” 

“A bird ?” 

Billy shrugged. “Stay here and keep that on your head. Imma go check it out. 

Jaime did as he said, still feeling woozy and a little dizzy. She leaned back in her seat and sighed, trying to ignore the blossoming pain in her head. 

Billy walked around the car, hitting and kicking it, making Jaime jostle in her seat. “Knock it off !” she called weakly. “Hurts.”

“Sorry,” she heard Billy mumble and she relaxed again. 

“Anything out there ?” she asked, but there was no reply. She heard a thump. 

  
Billy screamed and when Jaime whipped around, he was being dragged across the floor, into the abandoned shed. “ **RUN ! JAIME RUN !** ”


End file.
